The Hardest Part, Or "How to Talk With Your Friends About Their Trip Overseas"

When I land in the US in 5 or so days, one of the hardest parts of my trip is just beginning: re-adjusting. I struggle exponentially more with reverse culture-shock than with actually adjusting to a new culture.  [Not everyone is that way, but more people than you might think have a hard time re-adjusting to being back in their home culture.]  It's not because I hate America (I don't, I love America!), it's not because I feel like I don't have friends in America (I have missed my friends desperately while I've been here!), it's not even that I feel like I identify more with Russian culture (there are some things here that make me absolutely crazy).  I'm not even sure I could tell you why I struggle so much with it, I just know that I do. 

I also know that there are a lot of people who don't understand that.  Some people haven't spent a lot of time abroad, or they have and they haven't ever experienced this.  Some people struggle a lot the other way - they have a much harder time with culture shock, and much less so when they return home.  Some people think differently.  Some people are able to separate what they did with their life at home.  Some people aren't as emotional, or maybe just deal with it better.  I'm sure there are more reasons.

However, if I may, I'd like to add my voice to the cacophony about working abroad, and coming home.  In no particular order, here are a few ways you can love us well when we come back:

1.  Don't ask vague questions.  Asking "how was [insert country/city of choice]?" is possibly the most overwhelming question you can think of in the days and weeks following our return.  

I know that it's kind of a reflexive part of a greeting in America.  But it's ridiculous.  Instead, asking questions like "so tell me about two or three of your favorite moments", or "what was your favorite thing about the culture?", or "what was an average day/week like for you?" gives us something concrete to start with.  Trust me, we'll probably have plenty to talk about from just that one question. 

2.  Keep asking us.  For weeks, keep asking.  Processing sometimes doesn't even start until we get home, and it definitely doesn't stop when we get home, so we will be working through this experience for weeks/months.  When I have to compartmentalize the last 6 months (or 1 week) of my life and pretend that it didn't happen, or isn't relevant today, I'm ignoring a huge part of what is going on in my life NOW.  Even though I'm home physically, my heart and mind are still split between two places, processing that experience.  So keep asking.

3.  When you ask, be ready to listen.  If you're not ready to listen, don't ask.  [You can also say something to the effect of, "I'd love to hear about your trip, can we get together later and talk about it?".]  Not everyone is a verbal processor, but for those of us who are, just letting us talk (sometimes for 30 or 45 minutes without stopping) is the best thing you can do for us.  Ask follow up questions.  And then just listen.  And then ask more.

4.  When you ask (sometimes, even if you don't ask), be ready for some tears.  (Yes, this applies equally to men and women).  Going to other countries for Work is hard.  Especially if we did it alone, but even with a partner or team.  Coming back is hard.  Usually, no matter how wonderful or perfect the trip was, we are hurting for some reason or another when we get back.  This is a good thing - it means that God is molding us.  Don't assume that when we cry, the trip was bad.  But be willing to sit with us when we do.  And to hear the hard answers to your questions, because no trip is ever perfect, and there's always more to be done.  

5.  When you ask, be ready to hear "I don't want to talk about that right now".  Sometimes, especially in the day or two after we return, and you're the 18th person we've seen, we just don't have the energy to answer you.  Especially if the 17 people before you asked the daunting "how was _____?" question.  Don't let that deter you - ask us again later!  If you get that answer, show us grace.  Give us a hug and move on.  We know you want to hear, and we want to answer you well.  Processing (no matter how you do it) is hard and takes a lot of energy.  If you do get that answer, sometimes you talking about YOUR life for 30 or 45 minutes can be the best way to serve us. 

6.  Lean on us.  We're probably going to be doing a lot of leaning on you in the weeks after we get back (for both practical and spiritual reasons).  Don't forget to lean on us, too.   When we get back, often we feel like we've missed out on life - everyone carried on without us.  We missed events, jokes, moments, meeting new people...  Making us feel useful, needed, missed, loved, and included goes a long way toward restoring our place in the community.   Don't stroke our ego, but don't think that just because we're in the throes of re-adjusting means that you can't cry with us because of something YOU'RE going through.  Solid, two-way relationships are essential. 

These aren't hard-and-fast rules that apply to everyone and every situation.  Use discernment.  But, remember that sometimes coming "home" feels more foreign than leaving.  In light of that, your love and support is absolutely invaluable - if all else fails, go for hugs and the Gospel. 

How I am learning to emulate Indiana Jones

Or, Why you should read the Bible BEFORE praying for something.  

I have a story to tell you:  I was praying the other night, reflecting on my time here (which as been both challenging and awesome), and I had an interesting experience.  It was one of those oh-crap-what-did-I-just-ask-for moments.  Allow me to recount for you:

...Lord, help me to persevere, and to be faithful to what is in front of me now.  Give me the strength to be bold and the sensitivity to listen to the Spirit.  Lord, give me endurance.  Yea, endurance, that's it.  Give me the endurance to work here well, with discipline and with joy.  

And then I thought, Endurance.  I think the Bible has something to say about that...

And I was thinking something along the lines of the verse where Jesus says "Well done, good and faithful servant".  Thinking yea, I'll meditate on that all week, and it will totally motivate me to endure, to push through and to be motivated.  Because Jesus is awesome and I love him. 

So I took my Bible, and I opened to the back where there's a mini-concordance.  And I thought, oh, good, this will be encouraging and I will memorize these verses.  This is going to be great!  I love it when God uses the Bible to speak encouragement to me, when I have those verses that seem like they're so full of joy and sweetness that they just can't be wrung dry, and when I am overflowing in the goodness of God!  God is such a good encourager, and I love it when he answers prayers!  Yippee!

I promise, it wasn't as plastic as it sounds now.  It actually was really organic and genuine.  So I wrote down the 4 or 5 citations from the back of my Bible, and I went to go look the first one up and write it out in my journal.  [I was entirely unprepared for the smack-down that was coming my way.]  It was Hebrews 10.

"But recall those earlier days when, after you had been enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings... knowing that you yourselves possessed something better and more lasting. Do not, therefore, abandon that confidence of yours; it brings a great reward. For you need endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised." (Hebrews 10: 32-36)

Hm.  Well, ok, that's not quite what I was hoping for.  But ok.  I guess that's true.  We will receive the promised inheritance... I can dig that.  Hope in heaven produces endurance.  Ok, got it.  Next verse, Romans 5: 

"...we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." (Romans 5: 3-6)

Ok wait a second.  Boasting in suffering?  This is not the direction I was hoping this would go... Suffering produces endurance.  Ok, I'm kind of suffering.  So I'm kind of building endurance.  I think.  Apparently endurance is tied to overcoming difficulty? Ok, well, let's check out the next verse, maybe that will be more helpful. James 1:

"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)

Well crap.  It was at this point I closed my Bible and stopped looking up the verses.  This is not the connection I was hoping for.  Endurance and suffering are directly connected, apparently.  That sucks.  I think I'd like to retract my previous prayer.  I don't want suffering.  [At this point, I did not have any awesome Indiana Jones moments, like a cool leather-bound notebook telling me what to do via ancient hieroglyph and myth, which is sad.  I also did not have the adrenaline associated with the actual possibility of me literally falling to my death, which I'm thankful for.]

In retrospect, I'm not exactly sure what I thought I would find instead of this delightful epiphany,  because any athlete knows that endurance comes from working through the weakness, the soreness, and the pain of extending yourself to (and then beyond) your limit.  But it's definitely not what I was looking for when I opened my Bible that night.

After a few days of reflection on this, I found myself re-reading the first prayer in my journal, the one that I prayed while sitting in an airport cafe on my way to this city.  On June 30th, I explicitly asked for limitations, for difficulties, and for hardship for a two-fold purpose; one, to drive me to God's feet in prayer, humility, and adoration, and two, that God's name might make his own name known, and not mine.  [I am 100% positive that I simultaneously did not know what I was praying for when I asked that, and I believed I did know]. 




I've already been stretched to the limits of my comfort in the last 3 months here.  I've reached the end of myself, and I now have to make a decision to jump into the abyss, knowing that God is sufficient, sovereign, and good, or I have to shy away in fear.   I cannot walk the edge of the canyon.  There is no middle ground, no grey area or loophole where God can be great and I can be comfortable.   I do not fancy myself a fearful or timid person, and (ridiculously enough, partly because of my pride), I steadfastly refuse to turn away.  But for the last few days I have also steadfastly refused to move forward, to step out over that canyon like Indiana Jones (yes, I just Jesus juked Indiana Jones, and yes, I know the analogy breaks down), knowing that I will not be comfortable, but that it will be good.


When it comes down to it and I have to choose, I would rather regularly be at the end of myself and uncomfortable than be comfortable and not know my God.  So my new prayer is that I would learn to love it here, at the end of myself.  I don't just want to camp at the edge of this cliff.  I want to homestead the land here.  I want to dwell here for the rest of my life.  I want to be the vessel through which God does mighty and wonderful things - not because I am spectacular, but simply because I have positioned myself here and refused to move.  I want to love God more than I love my comfort.

So bring it on, invisible-bridge-across-the-abyss-that-may-or-may-not-be-there.  And even if you aren't there, my God is still good.  I will choose to "[know] that you yourselves possessed something better and more lasting", that "hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts".   I'm enduring beyond the edge of my own strength - because God's is enough.  So bring it on.  I'm coming for you, sans hat and lasso (because I'm not quite that cool). 

Where Prayer and Joy Meet, And the Baffling Place that Leaves Me

I watched a man place his faith in Jesus Christ today.

Ok, I didn't actually watch it happen.  But 6 weeks ago, when my plane landed in a foreign country and I while I began to explore a new realm of food and culture, he was not a Christian.  4 weeks ago, when I first met him, he did not believe that Jesus Christ had given him eternal life through His resurrection.  2 weeks ago, he had not laid down his life at the foot of the cross, counting the cost as rubbish for the sake of Jesus.  But today, today we walked along the cobblestone street, admiring the street performers and the blue sky, I was blessed to hear him tell his story: one of how he had decided that Jesus was the Truth, and that He was worth everything.  I cannot begin to describe to you my elation at this moment.

But my elation was not because I had anything to do with his decision.  I, in fact, had absolutely nothing to do with this decision.

It was just blessing lavished upon blessing.

******************************

Sometime in October of last year, I first heard of this young man, Dmitry*.  In email correspondence with a friend living overseas, I was given the opportunity to pray for him as he actively sought truth and light in a dark world.  And so I scribbled his name in the back of my Bible, where I keep a list of others around the world whom I regularly dedicate myself to praying for.  And I started praying.  Some weeks I labored over him every day.  Some weeks I only lifted up a quick prayer while walking down the street.  But every day, I would pick up that Bible and look at that list, and there was his name, staring back at me.   Some days, my fickle heart didn't believe that my praying would do anything.  That I would pray and pray and pray and never see results.   Some days I didn't want to pray.  I selfishly thought that my own problems, my own burdens ought to displace Dmitry's need for a loving savior.  And so, some days, I neglected him.

But his name was always on my list, so I continued to come back to him.  And as the email correspondence between this friend and I picked up, and as I began to hear more and more of his life here, Dmitry kept coming up.

Pray for him, he'd say.  He's growing.  He's getting closer.  

So back to my knees I would go.  Back to petitioning God that he would soften his heart, lift the veil, whatever metaphor or scripture I could find, I'd pray it.  Sometimes it was rote - the same prayer I'd said for the last 12 people on my list.  Sometimes it was genuine, gut-wrenching, searing, sobbing prayer.  The more I prayed, the more it became genuine.  I began to feel that, despite the fact that I couldn't pick him out of a line-up of 2, I was getting to know Dmitry.

Prayer unites people in mysterious ways.  There's a kind of compassion you develop for someone when you truly labor over them in this way.  It's unlike any other kind of servanthood you can conceive. Pouring out your soul at the foot of the throne of God, begging God to do something does not create a negligible bond.

So today, when Dmitry said to me that he had chosen Christ, it wasn't because I had prayed.  Rather, because of these last 10 months of prayer - praying through tears and apathy and love and compassion - God has amplified my joy a hundred fold in rejoicing with a new brother.

God used my [insufficient and altogether lacking] petitions to the Holy Father, by the indwelling of his Spirit, which he gave to me by the death and resurrection of Christ, to amplify my joy at something which he did not even have to include me in, and which he was going to accomplish with or without me.

Seriously?  So basically, God did everything.  The Father sent the Son, even though the world was mightily screwed up.  Who then lived perfectly, willingly suffered and died on the cross, and then proceeded to be raised from the dead.  In order to give me [me!?!] His presence in my life all the time, in the Spirit.  Who then enables me to pray, to the glory of Christ.  In order that the Father might answer my prayers to His glory.  All of which, in turn gives me more joy than my soul can possibly contain.

This is too good to be true.  Seeing the fruit of the Gospel manifested in someone else's life is such sweet balm to my parched and weary soul, which so desperately aches for the promises of Heaven.  God did not have to let me see this fruit.  He graciously chose to anyways.  He did not have to save me.  He graciously did anyways.  He did not have to enable this trip to be a possibility.  He graciously did anyways.  He did not have to give me an opportunity to get to know Dmitry.  He graciously did anyways.

All so that, standing in the middle of a cobblestone street in a foreign land, on this random August day, God could show me how he has used and woven and molded my prayers for nothing less than my eternal happiness and unity with a brother.  Who knew when I got that email 10 months ago asking for prayer, that I would be the one left speechless and overwhelmed with joy and sweet, abiding love for my God?



*Name changed for security.  

Carmen Sandiego, and a Brief Update

I told people I wasn't going to use Facebook or Blogger while I was here.  I lied.  There is too much to write about, too much to be said, and too many awesome moments not to share.  (And yes, I will explain my extended hiatus from the written world in a later, soul-baring post.  Fret not.)

To back up: I feel as if my life might be a remake of the game "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" (Does that game reference make me old?  It makes me feel old...).  I have some friends whom I accidentally neglected to tell about my little journey halfway across the world.  Not that it surprised them in the least, anyone who knows me knows that I am a wanderer - something which has only been confirmed the longer I live and the more places I see.  I can't help it, it's who God has made me to be -  it's the only thing I know.

There are people like my grandfather (whom I love very dearly):  He is the kind of man who is perfectly happy to stay in one place for his whole life.  He was born and raised in the midwest.  He never lived further than one state away from where he was born.  He's not much for traveling.  Don't get me wrong, he doesn't live in a cave or under a rock.  He'd just rather read about, see pictures of, or hear from other people who have been to other places, and not have to go himself.  I have a lot to learn from my grandfather about contentedness and perseverance.

Then there are people like my parents (whom I also love dearly):  They like to travel.  Recreationally.  To fun and beautiful places.  Our family vacations involved road trips, airplane rides, train rides... all sorts of transportation to all sorts of places.  (Well, mostly places we could camp and be outside, but that's what you get when Colorado hippies take family vacations. Who ever liked vacations inside anyways?)  They enjoy it for what it is: a brief experience into a new place and (perhaps) a new culture, for a short time.  Then they return home and get on with life.  I have a lot to learn from my parents about stability and practicality.

And then there are people like me:  People who travel to infuse their blood with life and vigor.  People whose passport is in their top five list of most valuable possessions.  My fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants and throw-caution-to-the-wind attitude is distinctly tied to the wandering, nomadic part of my soul.  I desire to (figuratively) get my hands on as much people, place, culture, and experience as I can possibly have in this short life.  And so I am here.  Halfway across the world (well, technically I'm exactly 1/3 of the way around, if you go by time zones), reflecting on who I am and what on earth brought me here.

As I sit on a couch that does not belong to me, in a country where I do not speak the language, having had experiences I did not expect, challenges I did not foresee, and blessings I could never have imagined, with another month of living in this place, I cannot help but feel oddly at home in the chaos of this rhythm.

Plan (optional).  ;)
Pack.
Stamp the passport.
Wonder at a new place.
Gospel.
Laugh.
Be absolutely, utterly alive.
Learn.
Praise the God of the Universe.
Repack.
Breathe.
Have airport adventures.
Pray.
Hear "Welcome Home" from the US Customs agent.
Smile.
Cry.
Pray.
Breathe.
Unpack.
Cry.
Open a new tab on my web browser for the Kayak Explore Website.
Plan (optional).
Repeat.

It's a lifestyle that seems to make some people uncomfortable.  I can understand that.  There are things I sacrifice to live the way I do.  But it's the most honest reflection of who God has created me to be, of the gifts and passions he has given me. This, I think, is going to be my life for the foreseeable future.  With that, I'll tell you I'm somewhere in the middle of the wondering/laughing/praising/learning phase.  And I'll leave you with this small anecdote:

Today, I went to a local gathering of believers, where we sang songs of praise and adoration to our God.  In a room of less than 100 people, there were songs being sung in at least 4 languages, with at least 6 (and almost surely more) people groups represented.   What a tangible representation of the God who is working in the world, and what a marvelous taste of the splendors of heaven!  

A Future, Freedom, and Favor

This is day 2 of guest posts from Whitney.  If you want to read the first one, click here.  

God teaches us in so many ways, and for me, much of that has been through the experience of being single. In the moments that I’ve taken the time to think a little longer and dig a little deeper into why I long for another person to share my life with, God has revealed my needs and the amazing ways in which He satisfies them. In the times I have felt vulnerable and fearful, unwanted, and trapped by my own emotions, the Lord reminds me that He has secured my future. He has chosen me and demonstrated unwarranted favor; and in Him, I have the freedom to love and be loved the way my heart aches to.

This summer I was planning to move in with my two dear friends, who I am thankful to now call my roommates. As we were apartment searching we found ourselves running up against several obstacles. A variety of factors threatened our options to find a place to live and the pressure of one expiring lease yet to be replaced increased as the weeks went on. By the grace of God, this experience strengthened our faith, but not without moments of fear on my part. I knew that God would provide, and I don’t  think that I truly feared a lack of physical provision. What I did fear was aloneness in these circumstances. My would-be roommates were amazing during the process, and I had support from family, friends, and my church, but I felt that my future was untied to anyone. I didn’t doubt that people cared, but couldn’t shake the feeling that if I went down, I was going down alone. Financial struggles and insecurity were not new experiences for me, but for the first time, I felt that I was fighting them alone. Far away from family, and financially untied to any another person, my future felt uncertain in a much scarier way than I had yet experienced. When the weight of this hit me, my first thought was “if only I had someone…”.

Then I actually stopped to think, if only I had someone…then what?

Here God reminded me of His presence and power in the world and my life. Would my future be any more secure than it is now? Would a husband be a better provider than the creator and sustainer of the universe? When the almighty God beckons me to bring all things to Him in prayer and supplication, what more would I ask of someone else? The Lord knows my every need and provides for me (Matthew 6). What’s more amazing, my life and my future are hidden, secure, with Jesus Christ (Colossians 3:3). More than physical provision (for which I am thankful to God) my future is united with Christ’s. When I wonder if I’ll have a husband or family of my own and am tempted to be anxious, I’m reminded that Christ is my life, that I am united to brothers and sisters in Christ, and that as His bride, I have a hope and a future.

While the apartment search and its accompanying fears only lasted a few weeks, I’ve struggled off and on for years with another kind of loneliness. If I’m honest, this is too often wrapped up in vanity and pride. My desire for someone to want me, and to choose me, betrays a self-centeredness that does not honor the Lord. However, I don’t think that there is always sin in acknowledging the sting that comes with rejection, or hurting when feeling alone. In fact, when I find myself wondering why someone may not have chosen me, or why I am still single, it’s all the more amazing to consider that God did choose me. All the faults I try to hide, God sees in ugly detail. All the failings I try to compensate for, God already knows, in addition to the ones that are still coming. And yet He still chose me! Christ suffered rejection and affliction because I was beloved. Amazing.

There may be plenty of reasons I am single, but not being loved isn’t one of them. Looking at this truth in the face of my singleness has lead me trust and rest in the Lord. I have to wonder if I would know that peace and feel the depth of His love the way that I have if I hadn’t also felt rejected from men.

Finally, I have to say one of the most joyous aspects of all of this that the Lord has shown me lately has been the freedom I have in Him. There is so much to say about the freedom we have in Christ, but right now I am talking about the freedom we have to love and express love.

I have learned some hard lessons about misplaced love and affection. Whether I have set my sights on an imprudent match, or have let my thoughts and feelings run away too quickly with a good man in the picture, I know that whatever pain that may naturally come with loneliness is much worse when I run away with my own plans rather than waiting on the Lord. But knowing that doesn’t make it much easier to stay cool and collected when there is a romantic interest in view. Something inside me can’t help but to make plans, or consider all of his good qualities, and to hope that my feelings will be reciprocated. For me, the excitement of a new friendship can also come with the fear that I will be unguarded and foolish with my emotions. So what to do with my giddiness and my affections? Who should be center of my daydreams and hopes for the future?

It’s so obvious, and yet, it floored me in a whole new way. I thought I understood what it meant to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I did, in some ways; but the sweetness of pouring all of my affections and hopes into the One worthy of everything that I am had been lost on me before. The beauty and true joy of being able to express all of my love to the Lord, unabashedly, without abandon, and not fearing His rejection has captivated my heart all over again. I am free to literally sing love songs to the Lord without fearing a broken heart. Not only am I free to do this, this is my calling, what my entire life for eternity is all about: loving the Lord with every ounce of my being. I don’t have to stop myself short and scold myself for running away with thoughts about God. In fact, I sin when I do not put all of my hopes in Him and when I do not remember His goodness and beauty each day. Isn’t incredible to think that one of my greatest desires is the most important commandment? To love. Sadly, in my life, that love is too often corrupted and misplaced. But what freedom! My desire to love deeply and fully is not to be quelled, but to be stoked into a deep and abiding love for my God.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!

Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 34:8

What can I say? I have tasted and seen. I have tasted the bitterness of my fears and failings in loneliness, making all the more sweet the Lord’s goodness in His love.

More Than Lonely

This is a beautiful and much appreciated guest post from my dear friend and roomate, Whitney. She is much more mature, articulate, and thoughtful than I, and I am proud and honored to share her thoughts with you. She will be doing a post every day through Thursday, in a series for Valentine's Day.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I expect I’ll feel a range of emotions. As a Christian who is a woman, and single, it’s not always clear to me how I “should” feel on Valentine’s Day, or on other days when I fear that my relationship status is what defines me. Some trains of thought, emotions, and reactions to those emotions clearly do not honor the Lord, and in those I continue to be convicted and by the grace of God, brought to repentance. But if we understand marriage and romantic love as good, God-given gifts that demonstrate the Gospel and bring joy to God’s children, then dismissing or condemning my desire for these things does not seem to honor the Lord either.

We know that when good things, like marriage, become ultimate things in our lives, this is idolatry and sin. Over the past two years, I’ve learned a lot about the place my desires should not have in my life. I’ve learned that when I define my value in the currency of attention and praises of man, there is a serious problem. I’ve learned that when I use my circumstances to judge the character of God, I sin grievously. There are many other ways in which God has shown me the sin in my desires and emotions, and for that I am so thankful. And yet, God has also used my hopes for marriage to reveal beautiful truths about Himself more deeply in my heart. Over the last six months or so, my heart has soaked up knowledge and beliefs about the Lord and these have grown into deeper affections and emotional longings for Him in ways I had not yet experienced.

As certain events triggered pangs of loneliness, God prompted me to dig a little deeper and examine my longing more closely. In the past, feeling lonely was painful, but seemed to be a simple desire that could be satisfied by a simple change in circumstance. I could only feel what was lacking on the surface, and therefore only sought a surface level solution. The problem and the fix both seemed so simple, which made it that much harder to understand why God wouldn’t just “make it happen”.

But my loneliness isn’t a simple, one-dimensional emotion. At times it comes out of insecurity and a fear that I won’t be provided for. At others, it springs up out of a desire to be deeply known by someone and loved in spite of that. As God peeled back the layers of my own heart and hopes, he showed me what I was really searching for, and made it all the more clear Who will satisfy me.  By identifying the specific desires of my heart, God’s attributes and promises became all the more soothing and satisfying to me. “Lonely” sought a person, or the idea of person, while “insecure”, “afraid”, “wanting to be known” sought far more than even a good man could ultimately satisfy.

Even though I am single, I still enjoy Valentine’s Day, and love to celebrate the love that God has showered upon me through others and in my union with Christ. So this year, I want to celebrate God in His goodness and love by sharing the specific ways He has proved Himself (yet again) to be all sufficient, and all satisfying. In considering the ways the Lord provides for us, knows and loves us, gives us hope for a future, and unites us to a family, I hope to share just a few of the ways He is glorious and good to His children. I will share some of these thoughts over the next couple of days, and celebrate Valentine’s Day by considering our amazing Lord who loves far better than we can imagine.

When I first considered writing this, I was excited to share what God has taught me; but in the following days I was confronted again with my spiritual weakness, and began to question whether I had any business talking about honoring God in singleness. Even as I write today, I am all too aware of my failings in self-pity and joylessness. If these posts were meant to tell others how to do it right, they would be a fool’s errand. But if I wait until I “arrive” and live perfectly to proclaim the glories of God, I will waste my life. I am weak and foolish, but God is kind to teach and to lead. So, even as I confess my own sin, I will gladly share God’s grace in my life. For today, I will end with this amazing truth:

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39