Things I Wish I'd Known Earlier About College...

• You don't have to find your best friends immediately - or even your first year.  Cultivating relationships and building new ones is a good thing.  You're allowed to feel a little lost.  Just don't let it paralyze you.
• Procrastination is NEVER a good thing.  [And yet so tempting...]
• However, procrastination is never an excuse for not doing your homework.
• Group projects suck just as much as they did in high school.  Maybe more.  But professors still assign them, so get over it.
• Oreos and Ice Cream (together or separately) make the best late night desserts (or sorbet, if you happen to be vegan...)
• Learning how to laugh with your roommate, at your roommate, and allowing your roommate to laugh at you will make life infinitely more fun and easy.
• Sometimes implementing a bedtime, even in college, is a good thing.
• Grades are not as important as your parents told you they were.
• Journal.  It's good for the soul.
• You should never buy your textbooks from the bookstore.
• You're allowed to jump on your bed now, whenever you want - if you want.  And you should want, because it's great fun!
• You can even jump on your bed in red onesie pj's and sing Michael Jackson into your hairbrush at the top of your lungs at 12am if you want.
• Spend time with little kids.  They're one of the best, most sanctifying and most encouraging gifts God has given us, even if they aren't biologically yours.
• Make yourself a little bit vulnerable.
• Making friends with people who own cars is a good thing.  Just remember to give them gas money.
• If you have a car, be nice to people who don't.  They'll be eternally grateful, and you might make some new friends in the process.
• Sometimes people are just grumpy.  Some people are always grumpy.  It doesn't mean you have to be.
• You do not have to know what you are doing with your life.
• You do not have to know what you are doing with your life.
• One more time: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE! God's plans are very often not our plans.  Tear up your 10-year plan.  It's worthless.
• Learn to love the chaos.
• Cultivating your silly is important.
• You will be poor.  It's ok - it will make you creatively resourceful.
• You will eat a lot of microwave food.  It may or may not give you cancer, depending on who you talk to.  But you will eat microwave food or starve, so you will eat microwave food and risk the cancer.
• Couscous is the BEST college dorm meal - boil water, pour in couscous, let sit.  Enjoy.  Easiest. Thing. Ever.
• You're allowed to bend some of the rules.
• You don't NEED a printer.  But they're nice to have...
• You DO need more than one set of sheets and one set of towels, no matter what your father tells you HE went through school with (the uphill-both-ways-in-the-snow-stories from your parents - tell them to be a big girl/boy and get over it.  You need at least 2 sets of each).
• Similarly, you do not NEED to do laundry until you are out of underwear.  But when you are out of underwear, you NEED to do laundry.
• Flip flops, tie-dye t-shirts, jeans that you have worn every day this week, sweats, pj's, oversize hoodies, and mismatched outfits are all acceptable to wear to class.
• You can fit 2 loads of laundry into 1 dryer.
• You need tupperware.  So you can steal a weeks worth of meals from the dining hall. Plan it into your schedule
• Living in a dorm is tight.  (Literally, it's a tight space.  But it can also be cool, yo) You will learn to deal.
• Living on campus is a good experience, even if it's hard some days.
• Stop complaining.
• Engage - with everything.
• Don't burn things.  Setting off the fire alarm in your building makes EVERYONE mad.
• Send letters.  Find a friend and be pen pals.  Getting mail is fun, sending mail is even funner.
• You're allowed to make up words like "funner", as long as you do it with authority.
• You're allowed to have hard days.  Some of them will be so challenging and difficult, you'll want to cry.  Some days you will cry.
• You're not allowed to have bad days.  Every day is a gift from the Lord, so treat it as such
• You are allowed to cry
• You are allowed to miss home
• Call your parents every now and again, just to say hi

 Most importantly:

• Learn, love, and grow.  Do everything to the glory of the Lord - all else will fall into place.  

Things That Frustrate Me About Higher Education

Stereotypes.  And conversely, hipster stereotypes.  Because yes, they do it too - its just the flip side of the same coin (and yes, I do recognize the irony that I am stereotyping here too).  It's like being a non-conformist by rejecting everything that is popular just because it's popular. 

For those of you who don't go to AU - I go to a school that is sometimes very challenging.  Both in good ways and in bad.  Because everyone is so into rejecting stereotypes and being "enlightened", that sometimes people miss reality altogether.  It can be very elitist. 

Today, for example, I was in my contemporary Africa class.  Talk about a class that tries to defeat stereotypes... Africa isn't inferior.  Africa isn't all poor.  Africa isn't "tribal".  Africa has civilization.  Africans are smart.  Africans are the same as Europeans, when it comes down to it. Africa deserves study unique to itself. And on and on and on.*

But sometime the sterotypes merit close examination.  Because sometimes they are completely true.

We have been told that stereotyping is wrong.  That assuming others are inferior is wrong.  That acknowledging that differences are bad is wrong.   Cultural relativity is something that has permeated our culture so deeply, that we do not even recognize it's fingerprints sometimes. 

In comparing Switzerland (a country with 4 official languages because of it's great diversity) and Nigeria (a country which has 250+ recognized  ethno-linguistic groups), I offered up the analysis that Germans, French, and Italians have a strong common underlying culture, that often overrides the differences, allowing them to live peacefully together despite the differences.  Meanwhile, the 250+ in Nigeria have an overwhelming number of differences rather than similarities, which override the potential unity of cultures and creates intra-state conflict and interstate conflict.  Which makes unification, operation, and involvement in the international community extremely difficult.  

[In retrospect, I could have articulated this better.  What I meant was that the actual, statistical number of things that could be classified as "different" and "common" might be exactly the same, or even in favor of Nigeria.  What I mean (and this is strictly my perception) is that the RELATIVE number of differences and commonalities are extremely different.  As in, the relative strength or weakness of each.]

My professor quickly shut me down on my "differences over commonalities" theory.  She did it respectfully, and I appreciate that, but it was quite clear that she thought I was dead wrong.  And we then proceeded to discuss the extreme difference between various countries and groups within countries for the next hour.  And there are many significant differences.  It was a nuanced thing, probably something only I noticed (although perhaps that is not affording my classmates enough credit)... But it frustrated me.  Because this, folks, is cultural relativity in action.  This is my professor telling me that the stereotype is wrong, because no culture can be wrong, and then proving that she is wrong in the span of an hour and a half.   [Welcome to AU].

The inverse-stereotype that exists in this academic sphere (especially, in a most extreme version, on this campus and in the IR department) is that Africa's countries are not inherently any different than European countries, they were just unfortunately involved in some of Europe's shadier moments and came out with the short end of the stick, because of various factors beyond their control.  To suggest otherwise makes you an uneducated rat who doesn't deserve to be in college.  But the truth of the matter is, they ARE different.  In a lot of ways.  In attempting to avoid stereotyping with "common" stereotypes - the stereotypes that were part of the "old age", the less enlightened way of thinking - She inadvertently fell into intellectually dishonest territory.  She (and many others in the class who reacted to my statement), in attempting to be "fair and equal" actually found themselves being dishonest.  They were analyzing the situation and history based upon their presupposed conclusions rather than allowing the history to tell them what truly happened.  And the honest truth is, that with a vacuum of strong leadership virtually anywhere on the continent, factions rivaled one another as soon as the common enemy left.  Once the relative strength of that unifying factor was eliminated, the relative strength of the differences grew.

Clearly, people in Switzerland are not having problems with genocide, toppling various dictators every other decade, collapsing economies, rebel armies, or stolen resources.  So people with vast and numerous differences CAN live together.  And despite the fact that they may not even like each other, the underlying issue is that they do not FEAR one another.  The problem in much of Africa is that everyone who is different poses a threat.  Because they might try to take away your water resources.  Or your land.  Or your children.  Or your virginity.  Or your government position.  Or any other number of things.  And so people protect.  And they take up arms to protect.  And they fight to preemptively take out anyone who might be a future threat.  Because that's just how it is.  The fear exacerbates the differences, and makes them stronger than the similarities. 

And that's an issue that needs to be honestly addressed before Africa is going to come anywhere close to being as stable as Switzerland.  I don't care what you believe about the superiority or inferiority or equality of Africans - there is nothing good about a state that is that destabilized. It doesn't have to resemble Switzerland in any other way, but stability is a necessity. 

So there you have it.  Intellectual dishonesty makes me CRAZY.  As do stereotypes.  And sometimes, hipsters. 



*Please understand - I'm not saying these are false.  They aren't bad or dishonest.  I am not saying that Africans are unable to overcome differences.  I am not saying they are "worse" or "lesser" people than the people of Switzerland.  But these are the converse stereotypes - the reactionary version of colonialism in a post-modern enlightened era, if you will - which dominates the field in general.  And sometimes things are more complicated than stereotypes.  But also, sometimes there is truth in the "old, uneducated" way of thinking.  And this needs to be recognized. 

P.S.  You know what else makes me crazy?!  When people ramble.  So if you made it all the way through this - congratulations.  And my sincerest apologies.

Regarding Biblical Womanhood, Part I: Sex

So there was a sermon a couple weeks ago about sex.  Yes, you read that correctly - it's not a type-o.  Sex.  We talked about it.  In church.  With my pastor...  Awkward? There were definitely moments.  Important and enlightening? Absolutely.    (It was actually very, very good.  You can listen to it at http://www.restorationchurchdc.com/2011/09/a-biblical-view-of-sex/ It was extremely edifying and well-handled.)

We talked about why it's important to talk about sex.  Especially in church.  We talked about what sex should be and what sex shouldn't be. Because let's face it - sex is something that gets talked about outside the church.  A lot.  We're bombarded with it.  So maybe it's something we should talk about in church too. 

It's something I've heard over and over - you don't have sex 'til your married, otherwise you're a dirty filthy whore.  You don't talk about masturbation, or about desires, or about struggling with singleness.  Porn is a no-no, and if you're stuck in a porn addiction, you ought to be ashamed of yourself and just buck up and pull yourself out by your bootstraps, because real godly men don't ever struggle with that issue.  And women don't struggle with any of this.  Sex is for marriage, so just hold on until you get there, but even then, don't talk about it!  It's still kinda dirty and we don't really want to think that we enjoy something like that, because we were told it was bad for all our lives!

The reality is that men and women alike, Christian or not, struggle with things like porn, masturbation, having sex outside of marriage, lustful thoughts, homosexual behaviour, dressing inappropriately, not guarding their hearts, and otherwise engaging in inappropriate behavior.  Statistics say it's rampant, friends experiences say its rampant - even my experience tells me it's rampant.  So yea, I'd say it's a pretty important thing to talk about.  No matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

I have very people very near and dear to my heart who have had sex outside of marriage.  Who have objectified members of the opposite sex.  Who have lusted after a relationship (sometimes even a relationship for the sake of itself) for the physical element.  Who have dressed inappropriately to get attention.  Who have been involved in porn and masturbation.  I myself have struggled with nearly every one of these things at some point in my life.  And they are issues that need to be addressed in a healthy, biblical manner - which means we have to talk about them.

This sermon raised some interesting issues.  How should we talk about sex?  How should we talk about marriage, for that matter?  What about gender roles?  What about defining biblical manhood and womanhood, singleness, and relationships?  Why are they important to talk about?  

Sex ought to be a good thing.  It's healthy, it's joyful - it's something God created! When Adam and Eve started having sex in the garden, it wasn't a surprise to God.  Sex is good.  But only in the context in which God ordained.  But that's not the answer the world likes.  The world would have you believe that sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime = freedom and happiness.  But my pastor gave an analogy, and its one that merits repeating.  Imagine there's a train.  On the tracks, it's free to go wherever it wants, as efficiently as it pleases, arriving on time and safely.  The train is doing exactly what it is designed to do, and is doing it well, so we say it is good.  If you put that very same train in the very same spot, but without the tracks, it will not go anywhere.  Before, it was "confined" by the tracks.  Now, you say, you have set the train free!  But where will the train go?  What will it do?  Will it do it well?  No.  Such are God's mandates for our lives.  The rules exist in order to give us freedom, not to take it away from us.  The question then becomes - do I love God's authority more than I love my own authority?  Am I willing to submit myself to the Lord's will for my life - including in this area?

What does a biblical view of sex mean for me?  I'll be blatantly honest for a moment: the desire is there.  I desire to have sex.  God gave me that desire, so that's ok.  But I'm not married.  I'm not even in a romantic relationship of any sort.  So how do I balance those two things?

Primarily, I think I (we) need to understand that sex is not the end-all-be-all of relationships, of my experience here on earth, or of enjoying someone else's company, be it in a Biblical marriage or not.   Culture certainly tells me that it is.  Even the church sometimes tells me that it is.  The "just hold on until you get there" line - what about the people who never get married?  The church sometimes treats sex in the same manner that culture treats it - it's just the flip side of the same coin.  It's hyped up into something more than what it is - something it shouldn't be. 

If I may, I'll have another honest moment:  There is a chance I will die a virgin.  And that just has to be ok.  Because to say that it is not would be to up-end the order which God created, and to fancy myself having a better comprehension of good than God - which is absurd.  His glory is ultimate.  Everything else is not.  Will there be sex in heaven?  I don't know.  Maybe, maybe not (that's a debate for another time). But the bottom line is, sex is not the only way to glorify God.  It is not even the best way (perhaps you disagree?  Let's talk.  I'd be interested to hear what you have to say - but that is not a conversation for this particular blog post).  Glorifying God is my ultimate mission - not pursuing my own pleasures.  I don't exactly know what that means for me yet, but I know that God is in control.  And I am not. And I will (humbly attempt, and often fail to) submit myself to his Holy and almighty authority.

Earthquakes, Hurricanes, and Bombs, Oh My!

So the last 3 weeks have certainly seen their fair share of excitement here in DC.  The first week I was back, I was welcomed home with my first ever earthquake experience (also, it happened to be the biggest quake DC has seen in almost 100 years...) and a hurricane.  Then, 2 weeks later, the 10th anniversary of 9/11 sent everyone into a hysterical tizzy about potential threats against the city.

One common thread seems to be that of over-reaction.  I've noticed that this city is on edge, always ready to jump to the conclusion that someone is bombing, attacking, or otherwise creating general chaos and mayhem here in the capitol city.  The earthquake - while definitely a shaking experience (ha! I'm so clever...) - was met with evacuated buildings in DC, New York, and Boston, and the remainder of the work day being called off for most Federal employees (yes, it was a big earthquake.  But when the only thing that happens is 3 spires fall off the top of the cathedral, it doesn't warrant an extra week of vacation for all feds...). 

Irene, with her potentially disastrous threat only 4 days later, had the city out buying up every bottle of water and every bit of food with long shelf life that existed in district limits (and beyond).  I was told to expect power outages for upwards of 48 hours, to prepare an evacuation bag in case we had to evacuate the entire campus (where on earth they would have put us, I have no idea - I sit on quite possible THE highest spot in the entire DC limits... if AU is flooded, this city is screwed, bigtime), and to get ready to bunker down and see the terror of the heavens open up upon us. 

With 9/11, the city news had near-constant reports on the "update" of a "credible but unconfirmed" terrorist threat against DC (if that's not vague enough for you, you should go to work for the government).  Many people (especially people, ironically, not directly in the DC area) were concerned, and we were told to stay home, to stay off public transportation, to watch out for stolen Penske trucks, and to generally be on high alert. 

You'd think DC was about ready to fall to shambles, yes?  With an earthquakes and hurricanes that are "the wrath of God" trying to get the attention of the dirty politicians, with the bomb threats galore, with everything - it's mass chaos!!

Actually, here's what really happened:  An earthquake hit us.  It was a little bit weird... The building really does sway, for those of you who have never experienced one.  It shook for upwards of 45 seconds, but the first 25-30 seconds of that, it just felt like a really big rumble of thunder might, or like someone was rolling a really heavy cart down the hall... A few pictures fell down.  A couple of the topmost spires on the National Cathedral also came crashing down, but the spires were, in all fairness, solid pointy things of stone which were bound to break during something like that (See Physics 101 if you don't understand why).  Also, the Washington Monument suffered some damage, but the same general principle applies to Washington as it does to the Cathedral Spires.... It was weird and kind of exciting, but not particularly "scary" or "wrathful".  The hurricane forced me to spend a whole 24 hours inside, while it rained fairly hard and was pretty windy outside.  The power did not go out.  The city did not flood.   There was no rapture.  It was just very very humid for about 4 days... Then this past weekend, I went out.  On the Metro.  And the bus system.  Nobody was panicked.  There were no bombs that went off - not even thwarted attempts.  I had fun this weekend, hanging out with friends.  There was remembrance, but no chaos. 

While I recognize that each of these events could have potentially been significantly more disastrous, (And I am praising God that they were not, at least for me) and while I am not downplaying or ignoring the significance of this city, or of the events on 9/11, I'm noticing a problematic pattern here... People are driven by fear.  Fear of bombs, of flooding, of having to live 4 or 5 or 6 days without power, or without transportation.  Fear, even after the fact, of what "could have happened".  Fear of not having control, of being forced outside their comfort box. 

While I don't particularly like the idea of living a week or more without power, I think I could manage.  I am resourceful, and creative.  I am not the type of person to typically be paralyzed by fear.  But most importantly, my identity is not rooted in anything earthly.  My identity, and therefore my hope and my trust is in the Lord.  This city is driven by fear because this city holds its identity in power, in prestige, in comfort and in people.  This city, for obvious reasons, holds its identity in nationalism, in patriotism, and especially in works and doings and business.  This city is a city of go-getters who are all (as a broad generalization) lacking a genuine community.  These people simply circle one another, searching for some semblance of power, but most people in this city, if they were honest, would be alone.  Because of all of these things, and more, this city is prone to overreact.  Often, and substantially.  But perfect love drives out fear.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. into the world that we might live through him.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:7-18

It's seems cliche.  But it's true.  And actually, it's not cliche, because it's so profound once you truly understand it.  It's only cliche when it's shallow.   And it truly makes living in this city an entirely different experience, when you can experience they joys and the resources and the wonderful fun, and the people without all the fear and the hype.  Because God is not about fear and hype.

Still going...

This is a somewhat nostalgic list of the top ten foods that I miss... (and maybe the first ten foods I'll eat when I go back to eating all food...)

1.  Mozzarella sticks (and all cheese products)
2. Chili Cheese Fries
3. Breakfast Burritos
4. Chicken Piccatta
5. My Grandmother's Molasses Crinkle Cookies
6. Real Milk with my Cereal
7. Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory
8. A Really Good, Juicy Burger from Red Robin (or my Dad)
9. My Sister's Homemade Cinnamon Rolls
10. (I never thought I'd say this....) A good, stone-oven baked pizza with real cheese and some sort of meat...
11.  Sushi
12. My sisters shish-kebobs.  :) (yes, I know that's two more than ten...)

So yes, I'm still vegan.  But that doesn't mean I can't dream, right?  :)

Although the last few months have certainly presented their fair share of challenges in the way of dietary restrictions, it's also been an incredibly fruitful and unexpectedly delightful time for me to grow and learn.  There have been many significant moments, none of which I could have foreseen, in which being vegan allowed me to share my experience and my faith in a completely new way.  Although it continues to be challenging, I will continue to pursue this challenge until God calls me to something else...