To Be Contemporary, Or Not To Be? That, Apparently, is the Question...

I recently read this article about the Anglican church and music.  It's an interesting read about music choices in the Anglican Church, and I think a lot of good things are said in the article.  

Two years ago, I probably would have said a heart-felt "amen" to this article, then closed the tab in my browser and continued on my day. But two years ago, I also wasn't in any church, and didn't think it was important, so take that with a grain of salt...  

Today, I'm not so sure.  I think there's something deeper going on here.  It's true, having grown up in the Anglican church, I can attest to the fact that there aren't a lot of young people who stick around.  Even in college towns or areas where there are a ton of young, single people (i.e. Washington, D.C.), the Anglican church (most of the Church) is distinctly full of older people, and sometimes just no people at all.  

*As an aside:  I recognize that my church is almost entirely under 50.  I recognize that this, too, is a problem, and that there should be old, young, and every in-between age at churches.  But this is not a post about why older folk aren't adorning our pews.  That is a something for another time.*

On one hand, I understand not wanting old, "churchy", detached music to be a stumbling block to younger people.  But what you create a hunger for, you have to feed.  And if you create a hunger for good, fun, rockin' music that gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, well then you're distorting the gospel and creating a need for something else.  The Gospel is not about a warm fuzzy feeling.  Our salvation had better not be dependent on that warm, fuzzy feeling, because if it is, I'm in trouble.  And sometimes, church does us the most good when we do not have that feeling.

The reason young people are leaving churches (including, and perhaps especially, the Anglican church) is that they are not being fed the Gospel.  They are not being fed truth.  They see too much hypocrisy, too much legalism, and not enough teaching or gospel-centered community.  There isn't enough discipleship, there isn't enough solid theology, and there isn't enough vulnerability in relationships to make it distinct from anything else in the world.

There are too many sermons being preached from the pulpit that a Buddhist, Agnostic, "spiritual-but-not-religious", or Moralist could agree with, and there is too much comfort and too much condemnation.  There are not enough questions being asked, and even less being answered.  There is too much teaching about self, and not enough teaching about God.  There is too much programming, too many nameless faces, too many drifters and church-daters,* too little evangelism, too many comfortable and glossed-over sermons, too much political commentary, and too many places that ask you to check your brain at the door.

The church is supposed to be a place of people gathered who recognize that they are not qualified to be called a church.  They are not worthy of being called righteous.  They are gathered because of something entirely outside of themselves - salvation through faith alone, by grace alone, in Christ alone.   It has nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with them.  The church should be a place of intellectual, spiritual, emotional engagement, a place of honesty and messiness.  A place of joy, pleasure, and deep, abiding love for one another.  It should make you uncomfortable sometimes, but always welcome.  There should never be condemnation, but there should be loving reprimands and compassion.  It should be a place where self disappears into thinking of others as better, into a place of natural, holistic service that is driven by the passions and the needs of the church and it's members. 

Somehow, I don't think that music is the root of the issue here.  I get that some people just don't like organ music - and that's fine!  You're entitled to your own tastes.  Some people don't like electric guitars or drums, either.  But the type of music being sung is not what should draw people to a church, and I don't think its what's driving them away, either.  If my church started playing organ music and singing from the old hymnals, I'd still stick around even though it's not my favorite kind of worship.  Because the theology is good, because the Gospel is clear, and because the community is genuinely centered on Christ and nothing else, I'd stick around.

I think we need to re-evaluate what kind of church we want to build, not what kind of music we want to sing.   When we start evaluating churches based on music, we are making music more important than the word of God, more important than the Gospel, and more important than what scripture tells us a church should be. 

This is a criticism against the church as a whole, not just the Anglican community (the article that prompted this just happened to come from an Anglican group).  Please do not read this as a personal or denominational attack - it is not.  I think some churches do some things well, and other churches do other things well - no one church is perfect.  I think there are strengths and weaknesses to hierarchy, to liturgy, and to ritual.  I think every denomination has some unhealthy and dying churches, and I think the American Christian community as a whole is seeing a mass exodus of young people.  This is partly the fault of parents, partly the fault of youth ministers, partly the fault of pastors, partly the fault of the youth themselves, partly the fault of the strong pull that culture has, and partly just an unhappy, unfortunate circumstance that comes from the Gospel being unpopular.  Everyone bears some responsibility. 

But the music is not the problem.  The heart is the problem.  When youth are not being fed the hard truth of the Gospel, and being asked to believe it and live it out, having other believers come alongside them and walk through life with them, they aren't going to stick around, even if we start singing Lady Gaga or Beyonce or Usher.  The music does not matter.  This push for contemporary music, thinking that will draw youth in, its absurd.  The Gospel matters.  Without the Gospel, churches die. 



*as in, people who date the church instead of treating it as a type of marriage covenant with a specific people and with Christ.  I don't mean people who date other people at church...

Definitions

Current theme of my life:  

Bullshitting - V.  To spout shenanigans with great passion and flair as though you are an expert;  Blarney; The process by which someone creates and relates nonsense to others who are also pretending to be experts.

syn.  clap-trap; mumbo jumbo, balderdash; horseradish; college; drivel; hogwash; hooey; poppycock; tripe; rot

n. - Bullshitter; Bullshit.  adv. - bullshitly.  adj. - Bullshitish

Other Favorite Words:

All-Nighter: N. A night during which one forgoes sleep in order to accomplish some meaningless task; A manner in which one can rapidly acquire an otherwise obnoxious caffeine addiction; An undesireable task forced upon modern students in order to "go anywhere in life" or avoid "flippin' burgers" for the remainder of eternity. 

Finals Week: N.  Hell;  The worst week of any given 6-month period for at least 16 of the first 22 years of one's life (or, if one is a masichist (aka aspiring doctor/lawyer), for 28 years of one's life); a time at which young adults tap into a dormant superhuman power in order to earn a small piece of paper.

Baking: v.  What honors students who don't drink do to relieve stress.   

Short Films and Slam Poetry

One of the best short films I've ever seen.  I might be a little bit in love with TJ Thyne now... 

Seriously.  Watch.  Smile.  Be Inspired.  :) 

Slam Poetry from an Awesome Christian guy about Toms and Life.... 

Why Harry Potter Could Be Good For Christians

I HAVE MIDNIGHT PREMIER TICKETS TO THE NEW HARRY POTTER!! It comes out Thursday night, and I'm pretty much super excited about this.  Like really super excited.  So excited, in fact, that I've rented the fourth and fifth ones (the sixth is mysteriously unavailable...) to watch again before Thursday.  :)

In re-watching the 5th movie (for those who can't remember, it's the one with the Department of Mysteries and the weird connection between Voldemort and Harry), I stumbled upon an interesting realization - Dumbledore, in many ways, exemplifies many characteristics of a quintessential Christian life (minus, obviously, the Jesus part.  Which I suppose undermines "quintessential", but... well, I'll just explain.)  I don't think anyone could argue that Dumbledore is a weak figure. To the contrary, he is one of the strongest people through the series - both in terms of the magic he is able to perform and in the steadfastness of his character. Throughout the novels, he displays a gentle strength unlike anyone else.  His ability to stand up for what he knows is right, and yet also simultaneously display love and respect, even toward those he disagrees with (and towards those who are violent toward him or hurt him), is astounding.  He is never passive, he doesn't simply hope that something will be done, or that someone else will object to what is wrong, but he always seems to take the right course of action. He almost always listens before he speaks, he displays genuine affection for the kids he works with, and the other teachers.  He embraces change knowing that he will adapt, and remain steady in his knowledge of good and evil.  He is humble enough to recognize his weakness (which I'm hoping is something that will be particularly evident in the 6th and 7th movies, as it played such a prominent role in the books), and to ask for help when needed without imposing on others for help when he does not.  In many ways, he lives out the characteristics of a Christian life, lacking only the direction of God. 

I wish there weren't such a vehement outcry by the conservative Christian community against Harry Potter - they truly are well written stories with incredible characters.  Perhaps, in moderation and with the right mindset, Dumbledore could be a wonderful example for many Christians, myself included. 

Random Update #2

The creativity in me is coming out... I am going to try to update you in 10 word sentences.  Exactly.  It's a creative challenge for me, and pragmatically keeps this update short (and maybe somewhat amusing as I try to summarize my life).  I'll put them under categories so that you know what I'm talking about:

ENTERTAINMENT/RANDOM:

- GLEE IS BACK and my life is now complete again. 

- Singing in the shower is problematic with other girls around. 

- Rain, rain, stay here today, I love when it's cloudyandgrey. (It didn't rhyme if I didn't cheat!...)

- I have a new painting that's (almost) done (pictures soon)!

- I love seeing my Daddy lots, because I love him.  :)

- Broncos are slightly disappointing, but they'll always be my team.  :)

CLASSES:

- Biology tests really freak me out... and there's one tomorrow.  

- Said Biology test means I should study instead of this.

- Shoutout to Chumley - I think I rocked my Lit Midterm.

- Sensai: She's a tough girl, hit her harder! Me: *smile/cringe

- Breaking a board with my hand is still VERY intimidating. 

- Sociology equals moody, depressed, fired up; Sociology equals restless Katherine. 

- Spanish test today should've been easy, think i did decently.

LIFE

- Feeling foolish - forgetting God doesn't gently ease me into things.

- Contemplating official church membership because I think I need it.

- I love me some nutella pretty much every single day.

- Not working out much as I should, having fun instead.

- Want a job coaching again, because I love it lots!

- Needing a little kid fix, I miss all my munchkins!! 

- Food is decent, I love mexican and grilled cheese.

- Wishing football and church didn't interfere, makes my life hard.

- Thinking it's weird that you people read and enjoy this! 

That's pretty much all I can think of at this point.  Much love to you all! I love phone calls if you're ever feeling bored.  :)

Shuttle Reflections on 7-year-olds

So I took the shuttle today from campus to Tenleytown (for those of you who aren't aware/familiar with DC, my campus is located about 3/4 of a mile from a metro stop (the Tenleytown stop), and, since I'm paying out the ass for my education here, the school was nice enough to provide regular, free shuttles to and from Tenleytown. Hurray!) to go to CVS and run some other errands.  It was a quick, easy trip, and fairly uneventful.

When I got on the shuttle, the only seats available were in the back, so I headed back there and sat down, only to realize that the seats along the back are a tad bit higher than the other seats in the bus, and that they seem to lean back just a bit...  Which was fine, I just scooted myself back a little and sat back to relax for the ride, and make a list of everything I needed so I didn't forget anything.... only to realize that my feet didn't touch the floor!  Which was awkward at first, but then fun.  And of course, being the thinker I am, I spent the ride contemplating this odd situation rather than making a list... Here's what I discovered: That when your feet don't touch the floor, it's awkward because this is an experience you haven't had since you were about 7.  Which made me giggle a little bit to myself.  For the last year I've been acting, thinking, and speaking like an adult - partly just because I am actually growing up (crazy thought), and partly because most of the people I work with are crazy and immature, and somebody had to be mature enough to say "hey, you, stop flirting with your boyfriend and watch that little boy whose about to drown, I don't care that you're in love with him, save the small child!" and other things of that nature, so I had to turn off the adolescent part of my brain and turn on the adult part.  And once I got here I discovered that it was harder than I thought to turn OFF the adult part of my brain once it was on... I had a hard time switching mindsets back to a normal 19-year-old college student. (I did, after about two weeks, make the transition and it's been fine.) And here I was, sitting on the bus and feeling a little kid.  And watching the other girl who was sitting next to me with her feet swinging as the bus bounced and stopped suddenly and turned sharply, trying so very hard to cover up the fact that she felt really awkward with her feet swinging like a game of Jello in the mountains too.  And I smiled.

Oh, and discovery number two: it's also very hard to cross your legs when your feet aren't touching the floor... which I'm pretty sure is the reason the guy across from me was laughing.  Moral of the story: oddly high bus seats make everyone's day a bit brighter.  ;)

Inspirational Non-inspiration

I'm so damn tired of inspiring stories.

It seems like everywhere I turn, there's another one - on the news, in the theaters, on the shelves at bookstores, in the house 2 streets over with the kid who overcame drug problems to be the next rhodes scholar... Every time, there's a formula: introduction, hardship, struggles to overcome said hardship, various setbacks, and then, somehow, in the end, there's a juicy, satisfying, inspiring ending in which Character overcomes flaws and obstacles to be a better person and change the world. When was the last time Hollywood produced a movie where the bad guy got away - and there wasn't a sequel? Or when beautiful girl number 592 didn't find her soul mate and fall in love? Or when the ending left you hanging - without any semblance of recovery, resolution, happiness, or hope?

I get the entertainment value in books and movies, that if you walked out of the theater feeling the same as when you walked in, the movie hasn't done it's job. That people need an ESCAPE from what's eating them, from their stresses and their cranky spouses and their miserable job and the pestering kids and the world that won't shut up, the media that tells you you're not good enough (that you'll never be good enough) and the sorrow you feel at the prospect of your parents passing, the misery you feel at putting them in assisted living and the guilt you feel for not visiting because it's too hard and the debt that's threatening your lifestyle and the nosy neighbor who won't leave your business alone and the ugly boss who's dumb as a brick and the pressure to get just the right gift for the holidays.... It's a lot to deal with. And fun, entertaining, laugh out loud or make you grip the edge of your seat kind of movies or books are a good distraction. Sometimes, an inspirational story is just what somebody needs to pull themselves up and say, "I can do it too. I'm going to go forth and pursue whatever it is that makes me happy" or "I'm going to fight this thing til the end, because I'm stronger than that." And don't get me wrong, I fall into that category too. I watch The Notebook when I'm feeling a bit down. I eat ice cream when I feel like I've earned it, even if I really haven't. I read The Alchemist when I need a little pick-me-up. I get it.

But what about me? What about what I'm going through right now? I don't have an ending written yet, I don't have a story or a happy ending... I don't know if my life is going to be a thriller or a drama or a comedy or a story that shouldn't ever be made into a movie. What about the girl who never finds her soul mate - the one who dies alone? What about the boy who never gets over the insecurities he's had since he was little, maybe since he was born? What about the young man who never gets out of the rut of poverty, or the tragically depressed husband who doesn't tell anyone and one day the wife comes home to find he's put a gun to his head and she never gets over it? What about the way I'm feeling right now??? I'm not sure of my ending, I'm not even sure it's going to be a happy one. I want a story to be like that- to end like that. To tell me that it's okay to feel miserable even if the end doesn't exist yet, I want a story that doesn't distract me from the hurt but rather lets me dig deeper into exactly what I'm going through. Something that doesn't need to give reason or rhyme to whatever it is that's hurting me, that doesn't need a happy ending to justify it but rather just lets me be with this part of myself, to get to know it better and to understand it and to just cry. To hurt for however long I need to hurt, without creating the ending with blue skies and tears of joy and a gentle kiss from my long-lost lover and and inspiring, overcoming story. I need a story that's going to hold me like my best friend does when I need to cry - just holds me until I'm done, and then keeps holding me. Just let's me be whatever it is that I need to be at that moment. Because the distractions, the facade that I've worked so hard for... it only makes things harder.

I think that sometimes reasons don't make things any easier, they just give it reason. And I do honestly believe that there's a reason for everything, that this is what NEEDS to happen right now, crappy as it might be. I know that I can't experience joy without having experienced sorrow. That I can't truly forgive until I know what it's like to be truly angry. And so this, this is allowing me to live, fully and wholly and without fear or apathy. But that doesn't diminish what I'm feeling. And so yes, there is a reason. But no, it's not any easier.

Afterwards, when I'm ready to tackle whatever problems this is, that's when the inspirational pep talks come in, when distraction is good because I'm exhausted from making progress. How can progress be made if the problem isn't even being confronted? But right now, the inspirational crap, well it just makes it worse.