I've always had a hard time sharing my testimony. Actually, I take it back. Since my testimony is about 6 months old, it hasn't been "always". But pretty much since it happened. Even in the thick of it, I hated telling the story. I hate the attention - I'd almost always rather listen to somebody else talk about themselves. I hate how vulnerable I feel. I hate how whiny and privileged it makes me feel. I hate re-hashing that pain that led to such beauty. I really truly hate everything that story represents about me. But mostly, I hate the attention it draws to me. I love telling the second half of the story - the part about me loving Jesus. But the part that led to that is the part I hate. So mostly, I tell people what is pertinent to any given conversation, and avoid the parts I don't like.
But, in the last 2 weeks I've shared part/all of my testimony 3 times to 3 different people (which, by the way, has been more emotionally taxing than one might expect). And all three of those people told me how encouraged they were. How much they admired me. And how much they appreciated my honesty. A couple of those people, interestingly enough, also mentioned my strength... which was odd to me. But I suppose through God, I am strong... and even though I didn't recognize it at the time, I was strong at the time, because God was in my life, even when I didn't want Him there.
God is reminding me that when I tell my story in His context, my story can be powerful and good in His name. And if it is my mission in life to glorify Him, then perhaps I need to be more ready to share my testimony.
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