So we did some meditation in my sociology class today. It was interesting - I've always been intrigued by meditation, and have always thought it might be something good for me.
We spent some time stopping and just breathing, pausing for a moment to clear the chatter from our heads. I think that's something I need to do more often, especially when it seems like I can't pray, like I can't hear God above all the noise and distractions. Then we did some meditation to help tap into our compassion center. We looked around at people and wished that each of them might be happy, heathy, and at ease. That excersize was easy - ok, I shouldn't say easy, but not extremely difficult. I try to always be aware of other people's needs, and to be aware of any malicious thoughts or judgements I might have, even toward strangers.
The last part was that we sat and imagined ourselves sitting across from people, and imagined taking on their troubles and burdens. We did this by imagining us breathing in dark smoke and breathing out light smoke. When my professor explained what the last part of our meditation was going to be I almost laughed out loud. I thought to myself, if I take on any more burdens, I am literally going to die or implode. She went on to explain that she wanted us to imagine doing it with someone we loved, someone we felt neutrally about, and someone we really didn't like. I could barely contain myself at this point. I thought, there is no freakin' way. There is absolutely no way. This is so not something I need help with. I kept thinking along those lines for another split second and then realized something. I can't do this. I can't take on other people's burdens. I don't have the strength or the endurance or the wisdom. I actually, truly, literally, can't do this. But God can. And I need his strength to continue to take on others problems, and to relieve them of it. I have to change my mentality; I cannot rely on myself. I must do this through Him. Without it I am nothing - I am dead.
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