Painful Breakups and Ugly Letters

Dear Higher Education,

I don't like you anymore.  Seriously, I don't. I did, really - when we started this relationship I thought it was going to work.  I wanted it to work.  But I was young and naive then...  Now I see you for who you really are, and what you really want from me.  All this time, you put up your facade, and you tricked me into believing this was the best thing for me.  Even when I started seeing problems, I fought for this relationship - I did everything you asked of me.  And even then, I thought we could work through this.  But clearly, we can't.  I've seen the light, and I don't actually like you anymore.

You give me too much to do, and too much stress.  I want to learn (believe me, I do!) but I really, really despise you.  All too often you squelch learning in favor of doing, which really just pisses me off.

You ask me to sacrifice sleep for you, fun for you, friends for you, even God for you.  You zap my brain of all energy and coherent thought.  I sit in class trying to pay attention and simultaneously writing essays for other classes.  That is not acceptable.  I struggle to stay awake, and I feel the pressure to get a good job and to make money.  You tell me that unless I have a 4.0, I'm not doing good enough.  Your professors tell me that their class is the most important, but all 6 of them say that!  You tell me that I'm on facebook too much, but also not enough.  You tell me that I should make school my first priority, but you make it so expensive that I have to work at the same time.  Your professors say that my work isn't good enough, and that if I can't do it I shouldn't be here.  There are no late assignments, ever, because nothing outstanding ever happens in life that would require me to ask for a reasonable extension, but if I'm not also out "living life" then I'm missing out on the experience. You are the reason my schedule looks like this:

You tell me that I have to sacrifice everything, including my standards and my expectations, especially the most basic of standards like sleep, food, and pursuing God. You have cost me money, and time, and friendships and sleep.  You have cost me sanity.  You don't adequately equip me for the things you expect of me, and you fail to account for your waste and my struggles.  You engage with corrupt politicians, and poor teachers who are here only because they didn't know what else to do.  It's a miracle I haven't thrown a brick at someone yet (or through the window).  Your administration has no interest in my education, they have interest in their kingdoms and their money, and only costs me everything.  You would claim my identity and my soul if I let my guard down.

But I won't do it anymore!  I'm going to stand up "against the man" and take as many naps as I want, for as long as I want.  I will not be a stereotype or a statistic, and I will not end up on the cover of a magazine for my successes or failures.  I'm not going to gain weight, nor will I be affected by an eating disorder.  I will not be a partier who flunks out, or that girl who locks herself in the library, only to look back on college wishing she'd let loose.  I will not sleep around just because it's college.  I will not do what you tell me, college!  You will not claim my identity or my life.  I will no longer let school get in the way of my learning.  You do not own me, you do not define me.  You will most certainly not demand anything of me - because you are not my identity.  I refuse to let you claim me with your vice-grip.

Dear school, I wash my hands of you.  I will pursue learning to the highest standard, but you - I'm breaking up with you.  I want to say I'm wishing you well as we part ways, but that's not true.  I wish you the most rapid and humiliating of demises.  We're through, we're finished, and I don't ever want to hear from you again.

Hugs and Kisses.
K